1:1 – In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. 1:3 – And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. 1:4 – Then man made Duracell. And man went forth into the dark and void to hunt and gather. 1:5 – And Eve saw the light. And Eve used Duracell to guide her out of Eden. 1:6 – And Duracell illuminated paths to new pleasure for Eve. And these paths were vibbbbrrrrrrrrant.